Out of the mouths of babes

It appears the tide is turning against the Heenes, and that the literal meaning of boy’s remark is increasingly likely. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it turned out the other way, though. As with adults, kids can answer questions in a rather tangential fashion.

For example, I was talking to a neighborhood kid the other day, a year or so younger than the “balloon boy,” and I asked him, in a purely non-accusatory and joking way, if he was the one who’s been feeding push pops to my dog through my backyard fence. Keep in mind that the boy was consuming a push pop while I asked him this and habitually rides his bike over and over past said fence.

He responded, a trifle defensively, “I didn’t have one last night when they got out of the fence.”

Now that’s not what I asked him at all. To understand his response, you have to know that H and I recently rescued an odd yet inseparable pair of dogs straight out of a Pixar movie  – a pit bull and a Chihuahua – and had stored them overnight in the backyard until we found their owner the next day. Apparently the dogs had gotten out of our fence sometime that night, though, and the neighborhood kids had rounded them up and secured the gate. I knew this story before I asked him this question, so I knew he had misinterpreted my query, which was about my dog – my single dog, a boykin spaniel, who is usually the backyard’s only occupant – who I have discovered carrying around the still-sticky remains of a push pop in the backyard.

I’m still impressed by how he realized his possession of a push pop implied some sort of guilt by association, and he countered with a statement that is, as far as I know, truthful, yet did not deny any past acts of nefariousness – not that I care that Kara is getting push pops in the slightest.

3 thoughts on “Out of the mouths of babes”

  1. Purely non-accusatory or not, the kid saw right through that– he is a wise man of five years. That’s a tactic often taken with children and they are savvy to it. You, old person, are not to be trusted by tone alone. You might be suggesting that dogs do not enjoy ring pops… which they obviously do, if the very sticky Kara is any gauge. So, science is on his side. His group also has a firm grasp of otherness, as the little pack around the corner refers to me as “the Not Mike person who lives with that dog”.
    -Not Mike
    p.s. They apparently fed the lost dogs a large packet of cheesy poofs. I’m pretty sorry I missed that.

  2. Hey, people outrank pets substantially and children, especially younger ones, outrank all adults. I dare you to accuse, directly or indirectly, a young child of anything in front of that child’s parent. That’s just not done. Be ready to duck and run if you do; remember that Texas is a concealed carry permit state and defending a young child is justifiable homicide.

    I thought all ultra liberals knew that if you have any issue with a child you may only adress that issue with the child’s parent. Shame on you.

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