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Politics Short Essays Writings

The Hendrix Group Launches a Coup

The news out of Russia today was absolute batshit. There is no Western equivalent to what just happened, but let me draw a parallel.

Imagine, hypothetically, that the United States employs tens of thousands of mercenaries for off-books operations that are paradoxically done in the open. Let’s call this organization the Hendrix Group (hey, after all, Jimi was once a member of the 101st Airborne).

Many of its members are straight from U.S. prisons, and have been used as cannon fodder in a long, deadlocked, offensive war against Mexico; before that, the Hendrix Group was used worldwide, mostly in Africa, to prop up this or that warlord for vague U.S. interests.

The head of the Hendrix Group is John Smith, a former convict and later restaurateur and troll farm operator who rose to his position after having curried favor with our President, a ruthless dictator who has been in office for over 20 years after endless fake elections.

Smith likes to boast about himself and the Hendrix Group on social media and feels popular enough that he can even critique his boss (whose enemies have a strange tendency to suddenly throw themselves out of the high windows of office buildings and hotels or die from poisoned underwear) as well as the top generals in the U.S. Army that are directing the war in Mexico. The popular understanding is that our President likes having Smith around as he keeps the larger military in check and one day might be a convenient fall guy.

At a crucial moment in the long war against Mexico, right as the Mexican forces temporarily have the upper hand, Smith decides to split his 25,000+ strong forces, who have been temporarily withdrawn from the Mexican front to rest and resupply after a months-long battle, into two.

One half, with Smith, occupies a large city and supply hub near the front: Austin, Texas. They meet little or no resistance. Smith sends the other half on a beeline directly to D.C., insisting that the President fire his top generals because they launched an attack against his men… that is unconfirmed.

From all appearances, it’s a military coup.

Our President declares a rebellion is in progress and anyone taking part will be punished accordingly. He flies to Florida to hide. Florida, having its own problems and interests, turns him away, and he instead hunkers down in upstate New York. Likewise, most of Congress and Washington’s fat cats also flee.

The second force reaches the D.C. beltway in less than day, again without any major resistance. With most of the U.S. military committed to the war with Mexico, D.C. has only a small brigade and its police to protect it. If Smith divided his forces evenly, D.C. is still outnumbered at least 4 to 1. It is not clear if they will fight, surrender, or join with Smith.

Just as they do, however, the premier of Canada, a longtime friend of Smith and a naked puppet of the U.S. President, announces to the world that he has brokered a deal with Smith to keep the Hendrix Group out of Washington. Smith will move to Canada in return for amnesty, the fighters in the Hendrix Group will return to camps near the Mexican front, with any of its soldiers that took part in the rebellion receiving amnesty, and the rest being allowed to join the U.S. military.

Supposedly.

Smith is last seen rolling out of Austin with his half of the Hendrix Group as citizens cheer him on. It is not known if he actually accepted a deal, or he’s merely re-consolidating his forces; D.C. and Canada are in roughly the same direction if you start from Austin.

The Mexican government and press spend most of the day laughing their asses off.

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Politics Short Essays

When Presidents Say The Quiet Part Out Loud

Over the past five years, aside my other activities, I’ve become a minor scholar on presidential rhetoric, a status thrust upon me from numerous peer review requests on manuscripts dealing with presidential rhetoric. These requests seem to stem from three of my articles that respectively touch on the rhetoric of George W. Bush, Obama, and Trump, the last three presidents prior to Biden. I did not intend such a side gig, but presidents are easy fodder for examples of public rhetoric.

So I have not written anything about Biden yet. Today, however, I think I will, given his September 1 speech at Independence Hall. Biden’s speech is not a notable piece of oratory in terms of stylistic eloquence or delivery. But in many ways, it is pivotal.

Biden’s candidacy and resulting presidency have suffered from several universal critiques that have stuck around no matter what he actually does:

He is too old. Ageism aside, this is always connected (even if implicitly) to a charge of mental deficiency. But unlike Reagan, there doesn’t seem to be anything to this charge. He was just as gaffe-prone thirty years ago, even to the extent of Bush, but far less than Trump.

He is too moderate. This flak comes mostly and most explicitly from his left via AOC and Sanders, but from the right, too, as after a certain fever pitch of extremism, anything left of Trump is, well, left; the center is obliterated (more like hidden behind a screen David Copperfield-style, but I’ll get back to that).

He is too timid. Again, placing the QAnon-level claim that he is a dictator-in-the-making aside (subverted by the Dark Brandon meme) and discounting that he has a openly off-the-rails SCOTUS and fifty Republican senators opposing anything useful he might propose, his liberal critics want more action, and his conservative critics use the same argument to blame him for his own obstruction. Why aren’t you able to resist our slander, man?

Biden’s presidency has worked best when he pushes against all of these three critiques at once, a trick he has managed rarely.

Quick, decisive, and successful action in the face of crisis, especially when done behind the scenes and well in advance of any media narrative, coupled with playing the long game legislatively, do not always lead to presidential re-election, but the nation does better long-term as a result. The vast majority of presidential decision-making and job performance is completely invisible to the public. As the saying goes, if a criminal matter goes to trial, the lawyers on one side screwed up the settlement; likewise, if you hear about a President ruminating about a decision, it’s already been mishandled. The long gestation of his student loan reduction is a good example – that should have been a Day 1 decision.

Note that I measure “success” here of a presidency independent of re-election (assuming he stands forth in 2024). Jimmy Carter’s presidency is case in point; on foreign policy, energy, and climate, it was a watershed. That’s even discounting the Egypt-Israel treaty, which I feel was far more mixed in eventual results (removing the threat of Egypt to Israel seems to have allowed the rise of Hamas and took off pressure on Israel to cut a deal with Palestine). His wrangling of votes for the Panama Canal treaty was far more impressive, as it prevented a Western Hemisphere version of Vietnam. But rampant structural inflation and a painfully slow-motion reaction to Iran’s collapse doomed Carter’s 1980 chances.

I bring up Carter because his so-called “malaise” speech is the obvious parallel to Biden’s speech yesterday. Historically, telling the American people a hard truth in a blunt fashion is a bad approach to getting elected, as Walter Mondale found out in 1984 when he announced in a debate that he was definitely going to raise taxes if elected, and the only difference between him and Reagan was that Reagan wouldn’t admit it. He was right, and lost 49 states. Carter, too, bet on a message of hardship and sacrifice, and lost as well. Being right is not enough in American politics. It never has. Often, it’s just an albatross.

Biden’s September 1 speech does tell an inconvenient truth, one that he has actively avoided for several years in the apparent belief that going “high” like the Obamas did for eight years was the right move.

So that era has officially ended. This speech is the completion of a slow, steady pivot that has accelerated in recent months.

First, containing Putin’s ongoing murder spree through Ukraine by keeping NATO unified has been a major accomplishment for Biden that counterbalances the mismanaged withdrawal from Afghanistan. And unlike Afghanistan, where any decision was a bad one, the Ukraine war falls into a gray proxy area where the U.S. can flex its military leverage without having troops on the ground. It’s been difficult for anyone on the right to critique this policy on Russia without sounding like a particularly dense Charles Lindbergh, the original clueless isolationist. Putin cannot be negotiated with; the last twenty years have shown he will only pause to later take more, and he can only be countered with force. Biden’s new stance toward “MAGA Republicans” should be seen through his approach to Russia. Why offer respect and dignity for irresponsible idiocy?

Second, while Biden has learned that the closet conservatives in the Democratic Senate (Manchin, Sinema) can be worn down with time and pressure, he’s out of time. There’s little legislation he can push before November, the chances of retaining Democratic control of both houses are slim even taking into consideration a large turnout after the slow-motion decapitation of Roe, and thus no tactical (or ethical) reason remains to be diplomatic about the awful state of the Republican party.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, history is running out. Biden met with a group of U.S. historians on August 4, and the topic was totalitarianism with an emphasis on the political situation in 1860 (just prior to Lincoln’s election, the usual candidate for the no-return point to civil war) and 1940, when there was a non-zero chance of a fascist America. Not many people are still alive to remember the Nazi rally in Madison Square Garden in ’38. However, most Americans watched Jan. 6 on their phones, and the House hearings have laid all the rot there out for anyone who cares to see.

August 4 must have been an extraordinary conversation, and the speech reflects it and his desire not to be the next James Buchanan. Biden positions himself much like Bush did after 9/11 – faced with an existential threat, he draws a line. The difference here is that Bush’s us/terrorists dichotomy, full of useful ambiguity about exactly who the terrorists were and who “us” was, left American citizens out of the bad group; Biden leaves no doubt. MAGA Republicans to him are an existential threat, and left to their own devices in the interests of expediency, they could destroy American democracy. He speaks of them in the same terms that a far milder personality might comfortably speak of the KKK.

This kind of rhetoric from a President is not new. Trump openly demonized his political opponents as threats to the nation before he was even elected (along with anyone he didn’t like), consistently during his presidency, and as recently as yesterday. And if you think this election year is nasty, study any presidential election after Washington’s two terms.

What’s new is Biden is doing it now. Joe Biden. The regular Joe of the Senate, the guy who made riding Amtrak to Delaware a political statement, who left Anita Hill out to dry to appease his colleagues, who staked his reputation on being cautious, diplomatic, and reasonable, the avuncular guy that the Onion mocked by having him wash his Trans Am on the White House, or cooling his heels in Mexico for awhile until the heat in D.C died down. The dramatic shift in the last year to Biden taking up the ethos of a lone warrior standing before the gates of democracy, ready to slug Hitler with a left cross, is remarkable.

And it is perhaps all the more interesting in that he doesn’t have much choice in the matter. He can’t sell the inevitable solution to inflation, which is time and patience, any more than Carter could.

What he can sell, however, is avoiding a total collapse of the American experiment, because he controls the only lever to do so. The three conservative alternatives are Trump as dictator for life, as by his own definition he cannot lose an election; a Cheney-style neoconservative unitary executive, perhaps Liz Cheney herself, a viewpoint as dead in the water as a return of the Shah to Iran; or a tepid version of the Republic of Gilead, with a capital in Texas or Florida and led by some Mini-Me version of Trump obsessed with transphobia.

The leader for any counter-effort does not need to be Biden, necessarily. I think he would be wise to allow more Democratic leaders to emerge in the next few years. Harris has not had any opportunity to shine, and this is perhaps because she is ill-placed as a VP to an active President; as a former successful prosecutor, she is a better fit for Attorney General. She might have been less cautious than Garland.

History didn’t thrust this savior role on Biden, much like it did Bush in 2001. That lead to a massive and completely unnecessary expansion of presidential power via Cheney & company and a massive and completely unnecessary war in Iraq. Even with Biden’s original offer of being the mild anti-Trump having morphed after Jan. 6 and Roe into something more forceful, I don’t see such an expansion behind Biden’s speech, or any appetite among the Democrats for doing much beyond their usual health care and wage initiatives. Everyone is still reeling from the open wound of the Roe decision. The message now, unlike 2001, is to hold the line, not re-orientate the federal government or start building democracies in countries that have never seen democracy. It’s not even to endorse/power some “woke” social revolution with the sole heinous purpose of persecuting heterosexual white Christian males… until sending them to prison after storming the U.S. Capitol amounts to persecution.

Biden as a sane alternative to Trump produced a clear shift in the 2020 suburbs. The Texas one that I live in moved ten points. But Sept. 1’s speech is a different kind of message, something far more serious in tone, and the cold fact of the seemingly immortal 6-3 split on the SCOTUS lurks behind its reasoning. The first congressional election after Jan. 6 looms, and while the speech will win no prizes for style, it does set an unusually combative tone for the Democratic Party in a midterm. Does the situation match it? The historians in the White House in August probably think so, and Biden seems to have listened to them.

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Politics Short Essays Writings

The Cavity We Chose To Ignore

I don’t usually write two columns at once, but these topics seem closely related enough.

In the last few days, it’s become apparent that Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, currently the most senior member of SCOTUS, has a legal conflict of interest in virtually any case he might hear in the future.

It’s not that we didn’t know he had one, mind you. It’s just that now he’s trapped between two rather damning syllogisms:

1.) He knew his wife was deeply involved in an effort to invalidate the 2020 presidential election with no legal basis, and did nothing, making him both complicit to an illegal act and ethically bankrupt for not recusing himself from a directly related SCOTUS case;

2.) He did not know that his wife was deeply involved in an effort to invalidate the 2020 presidential election, and therefore he is an oblivious idiot not to be trusted with anything.

Whether 1) or 2) reflects the actual reality of the situation, I suspect, will remain mostly fodder for SCOTUS historians. Either one is bad. The first bookend of his SCOTUS career was his damning confirmation hearing; now we’re just picking out the decor of the second.

My intention here, though, is not to condemn or bury Thomas. My intention is rather to draw some attention to who is drawing attention to his dilemma. Rhetoric is an act, and art, of selection; we chose what we want to talk about, and choose what we do not talk about, for effect.

The news cycle has been dominated by Ukraine lately, and for good reason, as Vlad Putin has unwittingly managed to do something that hasn’t happened since the 90s – unify the West – and Zelensky and Ukraine have turned my go-to wear of nondescript green shirts (and among many other things, the surprising utility of the average Ukraine tractor’s torque in hauling abandoned tanks) into a statement of principled defiance. It helps, of course, if you have a shoulder-fired anti-tank missile handy when you make such statements, but when your opponent has both the symbol and the signified, I sense driving a T-72 tank that was obsolescent in 1989 into Ukraine is not a strong career or life investment.

But where is a corrupt (or oblivious) SCOTUS justice in the news? Page 2, if that. I read multiple newspapers like a starving wolf that hasn’t eaten in days, and I learned about this on Reddit, which is the internet equivalent of a slightly upscale back alley with well-spoken hoodlums too busy sharing cat videos to mug you. Surely the papers can take a day off from Ukraine updates to notice the rot? A slight shift in coverage is not going to stop a nuclear exchange.

The steady normalization of corruption would seem to be the answer. Of course Thomas is corrupt. Did anyone think he wasn’t corrupt, save perhaps Virginia Thomas, who once dialed up Anita Hill and demanded that she apologize? Corruption is the norm. Corruption is a feature.

Perhaps it’s only the absence of corruption that makes a story now, which is why the West has reacted so positively to Ukraine’s position. As corrupt as Ukraine has been over the years, the existential threat of invasion has given them (and the West) an interesting chance at a reset back to immediate post-WWII moral clarity. Yes, Russia, like many other autocrat-run countries, does not have our best interests in mind. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to keep a few armored divisions and a shitload of planes and submarines placed exactly where force can deter Soviet ambition.

But if America has a monoculture, it is one of weariness. We are all exhausted. If not from work, from Covid, corruption, racism, or rank stupidity. Surely yet another unqualified, powerful elite figure texting their wishes to other unqualified, powerful elite figures is not news. It is expected. And it is expected of us, too, to be corrupt.

As the astute political philosophers collectively known as Lynyrd Skynyrd once pointed out, “Does your conscience bother you? Tell the truth.” Why, fellow Southerners, you’ve probably also broken the law to smear your political opponents with the purpose of holding onto the Presidency of the United States! Haven’t you? Tell the truth.

I am not a particularly good or pleasant person, and there are some things I regret, but no. I have yet to do that or anything remotely similar, nothing that would land me in jail or prison via any twist of reasoning. I won’t even cheat in a board game. I am sensitive to false guilt-projection; just because a SCOTUS justice is corrupt (or oblivious) doesn’t meant that I am corrupt (or oblivious), or I would make a similar corrupt (or oblivious) choice in similar circumstances – or, for that matter, that anyone else would automatically descend into an oozy pile of sleaze, a position largely filled solo by Ted Cruz most days.

But that’s the trick. To get a SCOTUS seat, you have to accept a certain degree of corruption. It is a political position, Democrat or Republican. America largely accepts this. We call them “judges” and Chief Justice Roberts calls them “umpires” but they are closer to the political officers that the Soviets used to enforce correct thinking in military units – our big American innovation is to pit them against each other instead of the rank and file. They could only be “judges” if there was general agreement in America about most core values, and as there is not, they can’t be judges. They can only enforce this or that value and mask it with arbitrary “legal” reasoning.

Perhaps the only sin of Clarence Thomas, then, is that he got caught, and there is no possible coherent defense. But it is hard to defend, much less want to preserve, a society where the crime is not a sin, but being caught is the sin, and where the more elite you are, the less accountable you are. Perhaps his fan-base should dwell upon that, if they can stop wanting to be him long enough, but the Gingrich-Clinton-Trump era has largely deadened our national sensitivity to corruption. We can barely feel the ache that signals the cavity, and thus, we don’t bother to brush. But the absence of pain is not contentment. It is only a lack of signal.

Indeed, this notion is the going theory on why Putin miscalculated so badly in invading Ukraine; he literally didn’t know his armed forces were in piss-poor readiness, through a combination of rank corruption and relying on yes-men. The bulk numbers should have told him something, of course. Readers may recall that in the first real-time CNN-broadcast full-scale conventional war on the planet Earth, and in the first (and last) use of the Powell doctrine, a U.S.-led coalition put together a force of over a half-million personnel and nearly the full power of its air assets to retake tiny Kuwait in 1991, and Russia couldn’t muster half that for a huge county like Ukraine or enough aircraft to get air superiority on Day 1.

Throw in a total defeat on the public relations side and the implosion of the Russian economy, and the syllogism remains. If Putin knew the invasion was doomed, he’s quite complicit in not just its launch, but its failure; if he didn’t know the invasion was doomed, well, this column is turning into an Mad Libs exercise, isn’t it?